Anger
W hat can be done about anger?
I mean anger is one of those unstoppable things. A lot like falling. You fall and you will keep falling until you and the ground meet. And you, always come off second best.
But I want to be able to curb my anger long before I catch the concrete. So can it be done? There are of course, lots of techniques out there that are supposed to work, and I’ll go through one of them. One I like is based on NLP. It uses classical conditioning, like Pavlov’s dog. But before we get to that, there are some other things going on that seem to stand in the way of any kind of “way” to curb anger.
There is the clear notion that I like the feeling. There is more than that though. Anger can be a kind of relief, and a wild joy. Mostly though, it feels right to get angry at something or someone . Anger is primarily metered out, to stop bad things .
It’s a punishing sentence, handed down to stop a perceived crime. Last night I got really hot and bothered about “too many bloody commercials” during a really good TV show. And I jumped up and down and almost hurled something at the offending thing. With a sort of “That will teach you as lesson” feel to it.
So you see, being angry almost always seems like the right thing to do, as it gives a sense that it will stop bad things…or at least bad things happening to you. That’s of course the problem. Only you get punished. Anger negatively affects your body and your very sanity.
Firstly, the only person who understands that there is a lesson to teach “don’t do that again”, is you . Everyone else just thinks, you’ve gone mad … again. No one else but you, has a clue that there is good intention behind all this excess angry energy. The only lesson you actually teach is, that it’s a good idea to steer clear from this raving lunatic.
So you see, the primary reason for anger is fundamentally pointless. Which is a shame, cause it feels so right, so justifiable. So therefore…I like the “therefore’s”. They make any statement seem so unquestionably valid. But it’s just a “therefore”, none the less.
Anyway if you can pierce through this Anger misconception, you can begin to rein it in. You might be more willing, because to you, it’s function is now in doubt.
From here, learning ways of not being so bloody minded is, while not at all easy, certainly some what easier. And so we come to technique. I like techie stuff.
As anger floods you, you won’t be able to think your way out. Anger blocks out the Brain’s thinking capacities, so you’ll need a kind of button that when pressed, reverses anger.
To do this, you will need to establish a button. If you are right handed, you want to bring the thumb and the first two fingers of your left hand together. Reversed for lefties.
The second thing is to do a spot of imagining. A scene where you are at peace, happy and active..like a party!
As you imagine that peaceful and happy scene and are really digging it. The feeling part is all important, by the way. It really is the only part we are interested in, in the end. And so as you are really digging the party, and enjoying the peace and happiness there, make all those fingers come together. The thumb and the next 2 fingers. Hold for about 5 seconds.
Do that scene with the diggy feeling and the thumb/2 fingers button connected thing a lot. Over a month, do it everyday. Remember that we are attempting to overcome a very old and powerful habit. Yes, Anger is a habit. Doesn’t that make you mad!
Now for the fun part. Imagine something that makes you angry. As you collapse together that 3 finger button, you’ll find that your anger slows and even reverses. You have linked feelings of happiness and a purely physical thing, the 3 fingers. It’s a powerful new habit.
Your next habit is to use your new button. Sometimes to reverse anger and sometimes just to boost a sense of happiness.
Anger is ok, but uncontrolled, is a dangerous thing. Mostly misunderstood, and mostly a waste of bloody time. Anger is a power house of energy that can be hugely valuable or destructive, like atomic power, it can detonate, or it can light up an entire city.
Paul
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