A Failure to be Comforted

Oasis

When I was small, I used to spend lots of time being comforted in the arms of my mother. I'm talking about being 2 or 3 years old here. And it felt very very good. Comforting, close, warm, sweet. A sure oasis from fear and uncertainty. Perhaps you too can remember some of these small child’s moments too. It’s possible that the rest of my life has been plagued by the sometimes failure of these lovely old sweet feelings, being meet.

A failure to be comforted may be at the heart of what we’ve all been trying to do ever since. If fear is what we want to be comforted from, then what lately has been working for us. Does the society we live in provide any security, or our political and religious  choices? How about that latest techie app. Perhaps the house you bought, really is the sanctuary you sought. What about Pets, partners, husbands, wives, best buddies, books, that dress, that drill,… are they working for you.

I believe a nagging sense of unmitigated fear, that the sure oasis of our childhood [if you were lucky], won’t be found, is at the heart of us all. So I do what I can. I meditate, read up on everything, go and learn, and sometimes I do find that oasis for awhile and try to keep it close . I remember being at a park one day and saw a mother and child at play, it was lovely.

 You know the scene, a small child is being hugged by mom and then waddles off to explore a bit, and then in a few tiny moments returns for another burst of mom love, gets filled up and goes off again.

As you watch, this little child gets further and further away each time, before returning. Of course when we grow up, we get further and further away too, often to the point of snapping the elastic band. Did we since get a suitable substitute of that warm returning embrace? Did we find another oasis to return to? We, I believe, have spend the rest of our life since, “wanting” to repeat this act of exploring away from our oasis, and then returning, but I don’t think we’ve been very good at it.

Could most of the world’s woes, violence and war, be down to something as simple as this? Could unrest, unhappiness, sickness of all kinds, obsession and emptiness, be finally finished with, by something as simple as an oasis?

Paul